When I was little I couldn’t tell someone if I wanted ice cream for dessert or not. And that hasn’t changed. Except that then I didn’t want the ice cream, but didn’t want to hurt anyone by refusing it; whereas now, I simply don’t know. And I think that’s the only way in which my life has gotten simpler in the past twenty years. Heavens but I wish for the simple life. But being given that, I know I’d wake up the next day longing for the adventurous life. You know what I fear? That I'll spend a lifetime somewhere, open my eyes, and wonder where it all went.
Tell me ‘why can’t it be true?’ ‘Because truth doesn’t exist,’ said the man who knew the world. Who sure as hell isn’t me. I don’t even know what I want. And that should be all we have in life. Our own dreams. And yet mine are a confused mixture of what I want, what I think I want, what I want to want, and what others want.
Somehow I feel all twisted up inside.
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