She told me we were going to cheat Time. Cheat Time by walking backwards and she took my hand and pulled me closer and said I can make time stand still and with those words the world froze. The birds paused in the air, cars on the street, and a leaf falling past us froze there. Froze, until I reached out and clutched it and gave it to her and I said I believe you. I always believe you even when I know you’re lying. And she laughed and spun around with her arms outstretched and caught a snowflake on her tongue. And the wind whipped a flurry around us. So we pulled our scarves tighter and we ran. Running to not be standing still. Running from the cold and out of the wind it’s warmer but it’s never as nice as you want it to be. It never lives up to it.
Then she laughed and it cast a spell over us. And we skipped together, faster and faster along the sidewalk until we couldn't sustain it anymore and we fell on the hill, rolling and tumbling and sliding down to the bottom. And we lay at the foot of the hill, in pain but isn’t pain good at least it lets you know you’re alive. And she asked if I was alright? Alright? I’m alive. I was always more alive with her. And it wasn’t always because of the pain. Come fly with me and I took her hand and we ran. We ran and ran, fleeing from everything behind us and rushing blindly towards whatever was before us and then suddenly we arrived and she threw herself down on the ground rolled onto her back and said she could count the stars. But I told you! I told you there were as many as there are grains of sand and she points out to me the constellations. See? See? A sandcastle in the sky.
Head on my shoulder ankles crossed finger pointing to the sky I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. The star falls and I guess I guess it was never a star at all. But she says she wished it out of the sky. I did that and sometimes we’re so proud of ourselves. Have you seen what I’ve done? Not just anybody could do that you know. Not just anybody can do the things I do. Not just anybody knows the things I know.
Yesterday I knew what tomorrow would bring. And then today appeared and it was all wrong. There was only one way it was supposed to be and it’s not this way.
She had it right you know… Sometimes it’s better to watch the stars and not think about what they mean, so they seem beautiful not scary. And time doesn’t seem to be moving so fast then, either.
Sometimes we’d lie back on the dock watching the stars, making up our own constellations when we ran out of others to name. Untangling a line to the stars. Counting the satellites passing overhead, and wishing on the shooting falling dying stars. And the Heavens opened, shedding tears for the loss of a single soul.
She wouldn’t cry though. No more tears she said with a smile, and a dry sob racked her body. Then she punched me on the arm and said ‘don’t you dare feel sorry for me.’ I wasn’t feeling sorry for you dear. I was feeling sorry for me.
You’ll do the leaving, I’ll be the left behind, and a satellite arcs through the infinite sky above us.
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