A Bustle in Your Hedgerow

Don’t be alarmed now. Ten to one it’s just a spring clean for the May queen. Wash away the dross from a dreary April and we’ll start fresh. That’s a bit unfair though. I’ve always been partial to April. I mean, it’s the month of rain, and I’ve always secretly thought I was a rain god. Secretly no longer… Although I s’pose if I were a rain god, note the use of the subjunctive there, a tense I never knew existed ‘til I studied French for five years, if I were a rain god then I could have prevented it from raining seven of the last eight Tuesdays. Have you noticed that? ‘Course you haven’t. Why would you? Unless I’d been whingeing about it to you constantly. But it’s true. And the reason it so concerns me, for it does, is that the pickup roller hockey game played every Tuesday night here in Austin is cancelled whenever there’s rain. And when one so looks forward to playing in this hockey game, as I so do, it becomes one of the most evil examples of Karmactic justice in the universe. Although I don’t know what the bad Karma’s from, so I can’t do anything about it. I’ve tried helping old ladies across the street and rescuing kittens from the tops of trees, but all has failed.

I must have been a real son of a bitch in a past life…