Don't Panic

Do you know where your towel is? 'Cause I think it's high time to start waving it around to flag down a spaceship and catch a lift to the moon. If ya want, you can join me there and we can watch the end of the world with front row seats, before the sudden melting of our former home planet and the resulting loss of gravitational attraction sends us hurtling off to who knows where. The current rulers of the world can't seem to simply wait for global warming to destroy our world like any normal person would. They seem instead to be actively seeking it out. The Middle East is forever threatening to boil over, Iran are keen to continue researching nuclear weapons while the rest of the world says no, and now North Korea claim they've got them. Oh yes, and now that they have them the world is a safer place. So who's gonna press that little red button first? Dubya, now's your chance to be remembered forever, or at least 'til the end of the world. And who's gonna say it has to be done now, before it's too late? And when the hell is Tahiti going to become a world power and tell everyone to chill the fuck out?

Note to the reader- The views contained within this rant are solely those of the author, and he is well known to have a penchant for sensationalist writing and wholly making things up. To which I'd like to add that this is largely a fabrication, but I do think the moon is a groovy place, I do love to hug trees, and I quite fancy kissing the sky.

So 'scuse me while I...